I choose JOY

Since my recent post about my bad mood, I've had a change of heart. I know it's only been a little while, but it was worth giving an update (and it would be worth reading the other one first if you haven't done so already). That one sure was a downer, and I admit that I tried to delete it. But then it was already in my blog reader and I figured it would be in other peoples' too, so apparently this is a lesson in me being transparent and real.

I've chosen joy. The more I thought about the current state of my heart and head, the more I believed that I know how to get the power to change it. On the outside I've been filling my time with some great things. But on the inside I was letting my mind wander to everything else going on and letting it change me. I was having an incredibly hard time just being in the moment wherever I was. And I was just never in the mood to do anything about it, until now. (Really wanting and needing to be in a better state of mind to make those phone calls inspired me to do some soul searching first... and yes, there were some great tears.)

I spent some time literally crying out to God for help. I shared about my desire for more of Him and less of me, for more joy and less self-centered pettiness, for more passion and less complacency. In the name of Jesus I told Satan that he doesn't have any control on me and that his lies aren't going to work any more.

Now the hard part is continuing in this joy that comes only from God. I can't change all my circumstances to be fun and exciting, but I sure can change my attitude about them. I can allow God to take control of my thoughts and desires and every area of my life. I don't feel like all of a sudden I can just be happy all the time, but this sure is a great step towards what God wants for me. This is a good place to be.

I already made a bunch of phone calls so I'm not as overwhelmed by them. And before each one I just remind myself that I choose joy.