Freedom

At about 2:15 today I was thinking, "whew... it's finally over!" in reference to getting my blood drawn. Then that quickly changed into "yeah, it's just beginning!" in reference to my new life without that crazy fear of needles in it.

I have had intense belonephobia (fear of needles... not so much the fear of bologna as you may have guessed) for as long as I can remember. I've even been so embarrassed to admit it that many friends of mine don't know about this part of my life. I think about needles every single day without fail. I've let the fear take over at times, making it hard to hold back tears, breathe easily or communicate well. It's no small thing to say the least, and I've let it control me.

But that is in the past. Today I had my blood drawn and it went well! (Thanks Yvonne!!!) I could even go back next week and have it done again (which I'm sort of considering, but probably won't do).

I couldn't have done this journey alone... I also want to thank my friend Laurel! She called me at just the right time when I needed help after feeling God's urging. She was the first person I've shared everything with. We got together to talk and pray, both of which I needed badly! Then she got me in touch with someone who spent a couple hours one Saturday night explaining how needles work, showing me the whole process of drawing blood, having me watch YouTube videos of other people having it done, and even making me watch as he "stuck" himself. (Thanks Niko!) There have also been other friends who have prayed throughout this time. There has been deliverance like never before because of you. And then Laurel even worked hard to join me when I went in today!

I also want to add some thoughts for those of you who will be much more likely to actually read this blog one day than the ones I've thanked above by name. I've hardly shared any of this with you, and I'm sorry! It was much easier to share with people over email or with those I wouldn't see each day. I chose to keep it to myself for the most part rather than deal with the side effects of the fear all the time. As I begin my new life with this freedom, I welcome you into it.

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7